Awards
Approved
Summary
3 Reviews |
94 pages |
3 years ago
|
Draft 1
It's the 1980's-hair bands, the moral majority, Ronald Reagan and the politics that come with it.
Tom's only recently broken contact with his manipulative mother after a mysterious incident. Miranda's trying to put her life back together. Casey's going to record an album with her band. Before that, though, they're headed to a friend's wedding in Vermont for one last hurrah before the next steps in their lives. After hitting a nasty snowstorm, they encounter Officer Davey. As for him? Well, he has other plans...
Tom's only recently broken contact with his manipulative mother after a mysterious incident. Miranda's trying to put her life back together. Casey's going to record an album with her band. Before that, though, they're headed to a friend's wedding in Vermont for one last hurrah before the next steps in their lives. After hitting a nasty snowstorm, they encounter Officer Davey. As for him? Well, he has other plans...
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
The basic concept of this, a deranged cop with a brain tumor, murders his wife. Gets into an altercation with 3 people in a bar. Ends up terrorizing, and killing two of them before the third kills him is good and works. I would watch this story. Just not the way it's presented at the moment. This seems like the first good draft.
The main problem is, the scenes are guided by dialogue and not action. If you removed all the worthless dialogue, t...
Top Reviewer
You really need to work on davey's character throughout his motivations, dialogues and the whole station massacre scene could be better.
And then this script will be more interesting.
Top Reviewer
Like I said already you have a very interesting premise for your story but your main character kinda disappears after the opening scene. It does get better as the script goes on but he just needs to be more in focus.
Regarding the horror elements. The rule I was thought was that you need something scary at least every 9 to 11 pages otherwise we the audience forget we’re watching a horror film, try to implement that in your screenplay.
You’re...
Top Reviewer
