Never write a script like a novel. When I write my books I write them with details, but in a script no. You lose the reader and audience. Nobody wants a long drawn script. If Jack is coming in the house, just say that. No need to put that Jack went passed a sofa or almost fell. Get to the details .
The chase scene across the savannah was a great hook. Who is the boy running from? Why are they chasing him? The fact that the pursuers are in a hovercraft told me this is a Syfy future story. The switch to AKUJI, WIFE, SON, and DAUGHTER was a nice transition until on page 2 Ayo, the boy was inserted into the story suddenly. I wondered why it was flowing smoothly until that moment. Is this the boy from the beginning of the story or the son of Aku...
Earth was invaded by extraterrestrial beings 3 years ago, offering a hyper addictive, cure-all drug, Blue. ALEXANDER realizes the secret power he's been gifted, and uses it to discover the true motive behind the alien occupation.
Peter Pan, a boy who won't grow up, takes three Edwardian children with him to a magical island full of pirates, fairies, and mermaids; an island where children are always at play.
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