Fear short
#Drama #Family
By
Mike
Wheeler
As Malachey is being laughed at, something unusual happens within her, which causes her to avoid school at all cost.
Awards
Approved
Summary
2 Reviews |
13 pages |
2 years ago
|
Draft 1
Malachey is an average young girl, until she expieriences a panic attack in the middle of her class. Never having a panic attack before, she's scared to death, causing her to avoid school.
(there are a few grammer mistakes and missing words that I currently can't edit in/out, please just ignore them)
(there are a few grammer mistakes and missing words that I currently can't edit in/out, please just ignore them)
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
Since the concept is interesting and relevant to today's youth, the screenplay will be very marketable once the story is expanded. I particularly liked the strong characterization of the protagonist.
As stated under structure, the story just ended without any of the protagonist's problems being solved.
Top Reviewer
The concept is good, but everything else is underdeveloped. There is tons and tons of potential for a great script, however, that's lost in a sea of poor character development, poor dialogue, and no real story. So my advice is to flesh out your story and characters, improve your dialogue, and what I think will help most with that is to read other scripts. Not just other people's but actual professional scripts for movies. Some that I think would...
Top Reviewer
