Soon to retire newspaper magnate, Charles Carling is anxious to welcome his daughter on her first of work until an attorney shows up, accusing his firm of sexual harassment. Things take a dark turn when he finds out who is behind this ghastly lawsuit.
Overall, the concept is marketable today. When the characterization is enhanced, the audience will become invested in the characters. Striking more balance between action and dialogue will improve the pacing.
I was hooked when I found out that his daughter was supposedly the one suing for sexual harassment. I got confused towards the end I don't understand fully if the lawyer was a hoax or did something actually happen. What was the picture that they saw at the end? Was the picture what caused the secretary to drop the glass? I feel like I invested myself into the story and got let down at the end. Over all I like it and can see this being a play wo...
Provided below is a list of pros and cons. Overall, I think you did a great job with your story, just consider these a few highlights of
things I enjoyed, and little notes that I believe might improve the story.
Pro
-Your dialogue is good. Character react and respond to eachother believably, and no one seems to drag on or monologue for too long.
-Pg. 6. I like how Charles withdraws his plate of cookies after Marta reveals that she's there...
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