SELF-DEFENSE short
#Action/Adventure #Thriller
By
Kelly
Smith
A women's self-defense instructor uses her wits and fists to take down a trio of serial rapists.
Awards
Approved
Summary
5 Reviews |
25 pages |
4 years ago
|
Draft 4
This is one of a series of shorts about this character. Jane Killian is a martial artist, a mother, and a women's self-defense instructor. She loves her son and her students, she does her best to like everyone else. The two things she passionately cannot stand are shoes and bullies. As such, she she goes barefoot whenever she gets the chance, and she will throw a punch if she feels she has to. The goal of these shorts is to create a female hero who is decent, caring, human, fallible, relatable, tough, and totally able to kick butt when she has to!
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
It's a great story! I like the way you've used the past combined with the present to tell the story. The concept of a martial arts instructor helping to avenge women that she has trained or lectured to is somewhat inspiring. I believe, cleaned up a little, this could be an excellent short. The characters, although believable, are not fleshed out well enough. That is sometimes hard to do in a short. I think everyone gets Jane, but what's her...
My thoughts on the script overall:
1. Concept - The concept of "rape-revenge" isn't original for Hollywood, but I did like that you added the spin of the main character being a self-defense teacher/motivator.
2. Story - The story was simple for what it was and it was told well for the most part. The only thing that kind of took me away from it was its predictability. Adding a few more twists would make for a more interesting overall story....
Top Reviewer
I liked the narration the way its represented. The story holds me tightly till the last page of the story. I was just enjoying each words of the story and could live the story like its running in front of eyes.
The end part of the story is amazing. The way Marry decide to teach the lesson to rapist but with the legal terms. It gives message to society that people could punish to the guilty person, but the method should be in the right manner...
Top Reviewer
Me being a guy who absolutely abhors men, I love the story and the concept is just a really amazing way to show that women are strong, even at their weakest moments. I found Jane to be just the kind of person I'd want as a mentor, I most probably won't be a rape victim anytime soon if ever, but this also works against bullies. I hope that if this does get filmed that it is an inspiration to all and a warning to any man thinking of hurting a woman...
Top Reviewer
I like the direction that was taken with the story. It provides a nice, strong message that many people will be able to be inspired by and learned from, as well as a female protagonist that isn't really forced in. All of the characters feel three-dimensional, and are really expanded upon and given interesting conversations and moments that make them memorable. The way that Jane stands up to the rapists are pretty cool and how they react to Jane a...
Top Reviewer
