When a corporate climber lies about her affiliation to a secret society in order to get her dream job she has no idea the nightmare she is about to embark upon.
- Is the Concept strong/original?
The concept is strong and pretty original.
- Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader?
It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself.
- Are scenes well-written?
They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamles...
Vivian closes the Manual. She grabs the String of Pearls off the table and puts them in her pocket. Clinching the Manual close to her chest, she quietly exits. (are the words String, Pearls, Manual intentionally capitalized?
I would recommend verifying line spacing. It may be a convert to PDF error but double-check just in case. I noticed the spacing was tight on page 9.
"INT. JOSELYN'S GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE - FOYER -- CONTINUOUS
Vivian walks do...
While caring for a 10-year-old orphan, an impoverished pessimist tries to keep a shelter he unlawfully occupies from being demolished so the residents won't be evicted.
In the 1960's, when the baby of an unwed teen is sold at birth to the highest bidding infertile couple, the humiliated mom relentlessly searches for her son despite few clues and forged birth records.
After being dumped by his girlfriend, a down-on-his-luck alcoholic moves into an unusually affordable NYC apartment only to find out that the previous tenant isn't quite ready to leave – despite dying three years ago.
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