I'll just go over my thoughts in chronological order as I read your script. (I enjoyed it by the way)
1ST PAGE
- Good character intro and description, immediately paints a clear first impression of who Darius is
- Intriguing situation to start off in, following a trail, searching for a phone… (his own maybe ?)
- (OS), Offscreen or over the shoulder? It’s just a detail but the formatting is wrong, not very clear
- The segment where Darius...
Nikolette(Niko) who’s is a daddies girl, is involved in a tough situation. She meets a friend, Korey, who suddenly has a condition Nikolette(Niko) helps him overcome while struggling to get something that belongs to her.
Jacob obsesses over plants as a result of his parents’ death, but when he stumbles into a thoughtful young lady named Emma, his life takes a turn towards happiness.
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