The ICONS television
#Action/Adventure
When seven college students gain super powers after an experiment goes wrong, the group must confront their differences and pasts in order to stop one of their own from taking over the world.
Awards
Approved
Winner Draft #1
Summary
5 Reviews |
39 pages |
1 year ago
|
Draft 1
I don't want to spoil the drama so I'll let you uncover it all yourself. I hope you enjoy the read, it is a first draft so I'm sure there is a lot to improve and I will gladly improve it. I'd love to hear all your feedback and recommendations. Thank you:)
Industry Reviews
Overall, this was a decent draft of this pilot episode. I would most likely recommend that you work more on how the scenes connect and are structured so that the pacing and flow is smoother, as well as fixing up some of the minor dialogue and character issues. Hopefully, my feedback will help you out some. Good luck with your future drafts!
Top Reviewer
Overall, its a fun idea for a show and I think you definitely have solid characters that can definitely be worthy of a tv show. However, there's a lot going on and at times, the story can be extremely convoluted and over-the-top. Also, their goals seems very vague, and you need to establish their motivations and what they're working on early in the script, because your audience will stay confused.
Top Reviewer
Peer Reviews
Everything is happening, or at least trying to happen all at once. There is a fair amount of characters, with whom each have a past and link with one another in one way or another. Trying to show those connections with repeated flashbacks that honestly, jump around all over the place, make it really hard to figure out what is going on with the story overall as well as flow.
I like flashbacks too, but try to limit them by possibly merging the st...
Top Reviewer
So there's both a lot going on and nothing going on. The story is very bloated, mostly by non-linear flashbacks, which I think would work better if it were more spaced apart. The characters should be more naturally established with this non-linear structure as I've explained, but otherwise, this is a pretty good first draft.
Top Reviewer
Interesting concept, strong story execution, well drawn characters.
Top Reviewer
