The Elements E01 television
#Action/Adventure #Drama
A group of four elemental based superpowered individuals are assembled by Jordan O'Brien to thwart The Illuminati's plan of a New World Order.
Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
1 Reviews |
76 pages |
2 years ago
|
Draft 2
This is the first episode to an hour long action series based on shows like The Avatar, Umbrella Academy, Fantastic Four, X-Men, etc. The series is about a group of four people with elemental based powers: Franklin(Water-Bender), Pedro(Fire-Bender) Eric(Earth-Bender), and Dawn(Air-Bender), that are recruited by a charming rich archaeologist, Jordan O'Brien, to help lower the world's crime rate and to stop the Illuminati's world altering plans.
Industry Reviews
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Peer Reviews
To me this feels like a good first draft. You got your ideas down, they are intriguing, they are interesting, it has good action. Now it needs to be cut down and refined. Figure out the best elements. Keep reminding yourself of the story you want to tell and ask does this character or does this scene serve the story directly. For each scene ask yourself, if I cut this would the reader still understand the story? If so it's non-essential. I would...
Top Reviewer
I would like to say that overall, this is a good pilot. It brings the characters all together and provides us with a fulfilling story for each one, but not revealing too much backstory either, perfect. For me, the high points of your writing come from your ability to create and explain characters, even ones that aren't or don't seem significant to the plot or story. I'd say your low point is your dialogue, although it's decent, it could definitel...
Top Reviewer
