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Final Release short

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#Comedy

**THIS IS A SKIT WRITTEN FOR A CONTEST UNDER A STRICT 1 MINUTE RUNTIME. PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE FEEDBACK ABOUT LENGTH IN YOUR REVIEW, AND KEEP THE MEDIUM IN MIND.** A husband's final request to his wife.

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Summary

4 Reviews | 2 pages | 5 years ago | Draft 1
This is a skit written under a strict time & page requirement to be 1-2 minutes long and 2 pages or less.

If you are reviewing please do not include feedback such as "You need to write more" This was not an option for this project and is not valuable feedback for me. I have longer works I can provide upon request.

Industry Reviews

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Peer Reviews

I'm sorry, I can't give much good feedback on this. You can stop reading this right now if you want cause I have nothing good to say about this but I need to make this four hundred words. First, the concept is crap, the dialogue is corny and the descriptions are confusing. So you have the children on the same bed with the parents the elderly lady who I'm going to assume is the grandmother? Okay and now the husband and wife are talking about cover...
This script could have gone in several different directions. Considering the script is only one page long, not including the title page, I wondered what path you went down for the dying man's wish and honestly, as soon as I read what his wish was... it was disappointing for starters. Here are my thoughts on this script after reading it:

1. Concept - The concept isn't entirely original in itself with the whole "dying person has one last wish or...
An excellent opening with solid imagery. The writer does an excellent job at drawing the reader in and does so in a surprising quick fashion. This reader does however not love the joke of the bit. Perhaps it is my personal style of humor but I think there is a way to play this in not such a... crude fashion. However maybe that is the writers intent. I think instead of the wife "rushing" over to her husband it should still be a sweet moment. Have...
I actually thought it was pretty darn funny. I didn't crack up laughing but I did have a pretty big smile after I read the husband's dying wish. Obviously you did not have much to work with since it is strictly a 1 minute short, but you made good use of the time that you did have. I liked the contrast that you had with the scene being quite sad for everyone involved but it also managed to be really silly at the same time.

I'm a little bit sur...

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