Sam and Sofia
television
A new roundabout is installed in the school playground and all the kids are dying to use it, turning the playground into a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Approved
Winner
Draft #2
Draft #2
2 Reviews |
22 pages |
11 months ago
|
Draft 2
Summary
Here is an episode I wrote for a show I'm working on. The show follows Sam and Sofia, two friends who have a crush on each other but don’t know it. The main theme of the show is self acceptance, and will touch on deeper subjects like sexuality and mental illness in a way that is approachable and easy to understand for children, while also staying entertaining for adults.
Industry Reviews
So the external plot works really well but the internal arc of Sam needs development and setting up. We need to know what he is like so we can see him change. His flaw should be established in the classroom before we enter the imagined world and he should be addressing it through the script – that will give it the meaning and the depth it touches on currently but doesn’t quite achieve.
10 months ago
|
read more...
Blaise Hesselgren
Top Reviewer
Peer Reviews
I like how this imagination land is filled with the kids,
I think it might be even funnier if you have us spend more
time with the kids before they go to imagination land.
Are they quiet, loud reserved, etc. Maybe there's a really
quiet kid in the class who becomes incredibly loud and
chaotic in the imagination world. Spend more time
establishing the world before you subvert it.
Like the goofy energy of your script. Reminded me of R...
I think it might be even funnier if you have us spend more
time with the kids before they go to imagination land.
Are they quiet, loud reserved, etc. Maybe there's a really
quiet kid in the class who becomes incredibly loud and
chaotic in the imagination world. Spend more time
establishing the world before you subvert it.
Like the goofy energy of your script. Reminded me of R...
11 months ago
|
read more...
Jonathan Barbour
Top Reviewer
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