One thing I would recommend is to make things a little more modern in your script. The racist language seems way more overtly used in your script than it is in real life. It's so overt that it seems comical. If it was the 1950s, I'm sure that language would have been throw around more, but in the modern day it's rarely used even amongst white supremecists. In fact, I would remove all of that language altogether and just used it very occasionally...