You're Not All There Is
feature
Darren is bullied by an abusive father. Inexplicably, he begins to transform.
Approved
Winner
Draft #1
Draft #1
5 Reviews |
77 pages |
4 years ago
|
Draft 1
Summary
Darren has been made to feel like someone other than himself from an early age. Instructed and bullied by a toxic father figure, his worst nightmares become reality as he begins to transform. With all sense of reality starting to slip, Darren has to fight for the identity he holds so dear. If he doesn’t, he will be eaten whole by an ideology that threatens everyone. For Darren and boys just like him, time is running out.
Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
I gave up on page 27. There were several things that made me stop reading. Firstly, I just didn't enjoy myself or understand the point of the story and felt that it took too long to read about all the different symbolic things. Problem is, nothing was really clear to me and the story was extremely focused on one character who didn't say much or understand much. And his interactions with people were only about himself and his suffering. It felt li...
2 years ago
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Jurij Fedorov
I think that the concept has something in it. Could really make a great story but the way everything is playing out is just frustrating. Honestly, by the time I got to page 20, I was lost. Especially with the cutting back and forth in Darren's life. By page 35, I'm already done trying to rap my head around this guy's life. I find myself going backwards to read previous pages to grasp the plot but I don't get it. Question: what the hell is Darren...
2 years ago
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Chukwuma Amobi
Top Reviewer
I really enjoyed reading this, I felt that it was very well written and executed, which I think is more impressive given the challenging way you’d chosen to approach the story.
Concept
At it’s heart, you could describe the concept as a character study of a troubled man with a dark history. But it’s much more original than the way it is on the page, through the non-linear structure, use of surrealism and unreality that it was fascinating to...
Concept
At it’s heart, you could describe the concept as a character study of a troubled man with a dark history. But it’s much more original than the way it is on the page, through the non-linear structure, use of surrealism and unreality that it was fascinating to...
2 years ago
|
read more...
Richard Stirland
Top Reviewer
I gave up on page 27. There were several things that made me stop reading. Firstly, I just didn't enjoy myself or understand the point of the story and felt that it took too long to read about all the different symbolic things. Problem is, nothing was really clear to me and the story was extremely focused on one character who didn't say much or understand much. And his interactions with people were only about himself and his suffering. It felt li...
2 years ago
|
read more...
Rakin Islam
I'll have to say, my impressions from reading the logline to finishing up the story were very, very different. Here were my thoughts on each aspect of the script:
1. Concept - The concept isn't anything too original. I feel like you got some heavy inspiration from the 2012 movie, Chronicle, especially in the sense of there being an abusive alcoholic dad and a young boy who can't handle the abuse and later gets superpowers. However, that ending...
1. Concept - The concept isn't anything too original. I feel like you got some heavy inspiration from the 2012 movie, Chronicle, especially in the sense of there being an abusive alcoholic dad and a young boy who can't handle the abuse and later gets superpowers. However, that ending...
2 years ago
|
read more...
Cyle Brooks
Top Reviewer
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