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Thoughts

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By D Scott Mangione
Mystery/Suspense,Horror

Three strangers find themselves in a mysterious place surrounded by darkness. They attempt to determine why they are there only to discover a terrifying truth.

Approved
Nominee
Draft #2
Peer Rating: 73%
Industry Rating: N/A
Draft 2: 73%
1 Reviews | 117 pages | 11 months ago | Draft 2

Summary

ALICE, 26, enters an area illuminated by a single light post then not much later, GREGORY, 24, wanders into the circle of light. Alice immediately resists

Gregory’s attempts to earn her trust because she knows Gregory was thinking about doing something bad then MICHAEL, 35, enters the light. None of them know why they are there or where they are. Gregory leaves the light to get some answers. Michael tells Alice he had a vision or dream of her being buried alive. He begins to act aggressively toward Alice then backs off when Gregory returns. Gregory learns of Michael’s dream about Alice then confesses he used to dream that he murdered someone.



Gregory then tells them that actually, he did murder someone, It was himself and that he isn’t really Gregory. He explains to them that Gregory is a child's personality of his and that right now he is Bruce, the Great Protector. When Alice and Michael first met him he was Mild Nigel. Gregory also informs them of his gay personality, Cedric. They discover that all three of them have very weak mothers and dominating fathers. When Michael finds out Alice’s father wanted a son, not a daughter, he tells her she seeks out abuse and should forgive those that abuse her. They learn each of them is an only child and is unable to maintain a relationship.



When Alice learns that Michael is a municipal enforcement officer she tells him that he has two things in common with the BTK serial killer. They have the same job and are both sadistic misogynists. She explains that she worked on the serial killer’s latest victim, Gwendolyn, as a funeral home cosmetologist. Gregory tells them he knew Gwendolyn because he worked with her as a software developer then Gregory reveals that he might have some dark personalities too.



Alice convinces herself this is all a dream but Michael and Gregory don’t agree. She then believes she must be dead which seems to greatly disappoint Michael. Gregory makes Michael feel better by creatively convincing Alice that she is not in purgatory. Michael recounts that his last memory was visiting a house for an inspection. Alice realizes Michael is describing her house. Michael leaves the light telling Alice to remember what she learned here. Left alone with Alice, Gregory explains that Michael is actually one of his personalities and that Michael killed Alice then Cedric found out and committed suicide. He tells Alice he needs her to forgive him and she refuses. As Gregory leaves the light, he tells Alice this will keep repeating until she can forgive him and that she won’t remember any of this. Alice thinks for a moment then runs into the darkness after Gregory.



Alice enters the light not knowing where she is. Gregory enters. This time, instead of Michael, it is CEDRIC, 22, who joins them.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

Here were my thoughts on your script:

1. Concept - I definitely thought it was interesting to see a script written mainly through the thoughts of 3 individuals. It sets the stage for a totally psychological thriller.

2. Story - While the story was pretty good and intriguing, I felt like making it almost 120 pages was prolonging it unnecessarily, especially since a couple of scenes just felt like repeats of something that had already happene...

11 months ago | read more...
Cyle Brooks Top Reviewer

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