The Mob
short
Joey, a problematic senior, engages his out of control classroom in a scam.
Approved
Nominee
Draft #1
Draft #1
1 Reviews |
12 pages |
1 year ago
|
Draft 1
Summary
The Mob (temporary title?) is a feature-length script I am working on which blends both the high school and gangster genres.
For the time being, I have decided to write a rough draft of a scene I think stands on its own in order to see what people think of this concept and see how I can improve its execution.
Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
Here were my thoughts on your script:
1. Concept - I liked the idea of there being a surprise taking place, with us the audience not knowing if it'll be a good surprise or bad one.
2. Story - I enjoyed the story for what it was here. Mt favorite part was definitely the satisfying ending that caught me by surprise. I think the only thing that could be done to make this story better is to maybe shorten it a bit instead of having one scene dra...
1. Concept - I liked the idea of there being a surprise taking place, with us the audience not knowing if it'll be a good surprise or bad one.
2. Story - I enjoyed the story for what it was here. Mt favorite part was definitely the satisfying ending that caught me by surprise. I think the only thing that could be done to make this story better is to maybe shorten it a bit instead of having one scene dra...
1 year ago
|
read more...
Cyle Brooks
Top Reviewer
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