Pokémon: Poke Cup television
#Family #Sci-Fi/Fantasy
By
Chris
Welsh
A Pokémon fanatic runs away to live with her aunt and pursue her dream of being a Pokémon trainer.
Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #6
Summary
2 Reviews |
20 pages |
2 years ago
|
Draft 6
Episode 1
Gwen Alder a school runaway visits her estranged aunt in order to begin her path of becoming a Pokémon Trainer.
Gwen Alder a school runaway visits her estranged aunt in order to begin her path of becoming a Pokémon Trainer.
Industry Reviews
All in all, I think Pokemon fans will enjoy reading this regardless. As for newcomers, I would recommend rewriting the story to make it stronger and fast paced and the characters so that they are more memorable. Good luck!
Top Reviewer
Peer Reviews
I feel as if I'm the wrong person to review this as a Pokemon adventure, but as a story in general, it's serviceable. The formatting looks to be in order, save for some blocky action lines that can be broken up and condensed so as to not come off as too heavy. There's an OK structure and there's also a decent way to end things with something of a cliffhanger, but it was just hard for me personally to get super wrapped up in it since I'm not a fan...
Top Reviewer
The overall conclusion is that it was an entertaining and creative look at the world of pokemon. I thought it created a good springboard for more stories in the way it was written and starts off our protagonist's journey in a good manner. I enjoyed reading it and I'll just say that there are a few mistakes in dialogue (like the way the characters finish talking) and only a few typos that are rather minor. So just got through again and it should b...
Top Reviewer
Great draft with small areas for refinement. More detail, clarity, and nuance with the character's will offer the smidge more drive needed! There are several, smaller, moments that I breezed through and didn't find enticing enough to dwell in (including the aforementioned moment on the phone with Olivia, and the entrance to the mountain). The pacing of the script weaves the stylicitic qualities of Pokémon, while being original and committed to th...
Top Reviewer
