Collapsing Dimensions | The Fallen | feature
#Action/Adventure #Sci-Fi/Fantasy
By
Nether
City
A young man uses his rage to hunt down a mysterious threat though a dark and dangerous multiverse, with a group he despises .
Awards
Approved
Summary
2 Reviews |
101 pages |
10 months ago
|
Draft 2
Jake is trying to save the multiverse from destruction from the Anters, when a new enemy rises, shifting Jakes attention. Once Jakes sets out to locate it, he understands the power it holds but it's goal still a mystery.
Finally Jake forcefully goes a quest to find and kill the unknown enemy with a group he dislikes. Until finally he hit his breaking point and leaves the group.
Now alone Jake find the enemy to realize that his enemy is Him, and it's plans are much more sinister than he thought. The 1v1 is on!
Finally Jake forcefully goes a quest to find and kill the unknown enemy with a group he dislikes. Until finally he hit his breaking point and leaves the group.
Now alone Jake find the enemy to realize that his enemy is Him, and it's plans are much more sinister than he thought. The 1v1 is on!
Industry Reviews
Overall, this wasn't a bad first draft for a sci-fi action script. It does need quite a bit of work, but the writer seems to enjoy writing about the multiverse and the characters within this script. The story and characters just need to be more in depth and fleshed out for it to be a truly great story. Hopefully my feedback will be helpful for future revisions. Good luck!
Top Reviewer
Peer Reviews
Overall the story sadly needs a ton of work in every aspect, at least that SM measures. The strongest part of your script from the last time is that the format was almost correct and stood out compared to the other elements. The story and concept need major work because I like sci-fi, but this story needs to be more basic. The characters and dialogue were boring and also needed major rewrites. Besides that, I think this script sufferers the first...
Top Reviewer
