Chain Link (Work in Progress) feature
#Horror
By
Cyle
Brooks
LOGLINE: Teens learn the hard way that if they don't comply and pass on the messages, they pay the price for breaking the link.
Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
4 Reviews |
38 pages |
2 years ago
|
Draft 2
A psychopathic mental patient with the gift of online hacking returns to a city he terrorized years before to play another sadistic game of "Pass It On" with an unsuspecting group of teens. If they fail to play and break the link, they pay the ultimate price.
This is a remake of the 2010 horror film, "Chain Letter."
R for strong bloody sadistic violence and language throughout, and brief sexual content.
This is a remake of the 2010 horror film, "Chain Letter."
R for strong bloody sadistic violence and language throughout, and brief sexual content.
Industry Reviews
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Peer Reviews
Hi, I'll start this review with a big compliment. I asked my wife to read over you script with me, and she agreed to read only the first ten pages. By the very end, she was complaining that there wasn't more to read, so great job making an engaging story!
Overall, most everything is great, but I do have a few notes.
1. I like the idea of a chain link serial killer, but his motivation also feels incredibly hokey. Everything in this story is...
Overall, most everything is great, but I do have a few notes.
1. I like the idea of a chain link serial killer, but his motivation also feels incredibly hokey. Everything in this story is...
Top Reviewer
Now,let me.first say that I enjoyed it. You have to keep in mind that there are many many movies with sadiscit killers, psychopaths and so on. You will most likely end up being compared to any of all these that are famous now unless you create an enormously original killer that does something no one else ever did. Considee this idea. What bothered me was that you say that he is a psychopath and at the same time we hear him laughing in an evil man...
Top Reviewer
This is a very promising script. I really enjoy the spin on the serial killer summoned through the internet trope, and although the ending is abrupt, it leaves a good cliffhanger. But at the moment the script suffers from some cliché tropes, a few bland characters, telling instead of shoing and some messy dialogue. But changing a few of these problems up a bit can lead to a very fantastic script. Good luck.
Top Reviewer
OVERALL
I think Chain Letter has a lot of potential once the structure is more focused and tightened.
I think Chain Letter has a lot of potential once the structure is more focused and tightened.
Top Reviewer
The script is very well done, with how you are first introduced to the main protagonists. How the story progresses is also very intriguing, with the constant juxtaposition of moods, like the energetic and happy party to the slow and ominous murders of Chain Link. How the people react to certain events is also very lifelike and makes it very relatable to the audience. There are a lot of good ideas that are in this First 15, and it would be interes...
Top Reviewer
This is a well-written screenplay so far. The pacing feels really nice and it's a smooth read. There are not a lot of technical issues at all, and those are just minor grammatical things like commas and proper prepositions, etc. Nothing that detracted from the overall readability. The dialogue has a nice authentic feel to it and the characters sound genuine and real, a really nice job was done by making them sound authentic with their emotional r...
Top Reviewer
Concept - Good. A terrifying man killing off teens and girls is a horrific situation to be subject to, especially when you're alone.
Story - Good. Although it just scrapes this rating. My thoughts on this is that I believe the story has potential but there are some bits where it is predictable. For instance, the conversation with the police and the guy pretty much knowing who chain link is perhaps could be something left unknown until later i...
Story - Good. Although it just scrapes this rating. My thoughts on this is that I believe the story has potential but there are some bits where it is predictable. For instance, the conversation with the police and the guy pretty much knowing who chain link is perhaps could be something left unknown until later i...
Top Reviewer
Hi. I think for a horror film it's decent though it does tend to drag a lot and that's mainly because you lack transitions such as; DISSOLVE TO:, CUT TO:, PAN TO:, etc., another thing that would be helpful would be to describe your characters as they introduce themselves via dialogue that way it's easier to keep up with them. I am curious as to why it's titled Chain Link instead of Chain Text or Chain Letter because there's really no reference to...
Top Reviewer
Great concept! The villain is sufficiently mysterious, the way he kills is bizarre and terrifying. Killing theses attractive teens is always scarier than other kinds of people. It isn't the most creative concept, but it's very good. I think there needs to be a huge twist at some point in the story to make it really memorable. (maybe the psych patient is really dead and the current Chain Link is someone who the previous Chain Link failed to kill....
Top Reviewer
You are missing some chances to build real suspense in your script that would make a big difference in its horror potential.
I understand why you get right to the point with the killing of the first kid, but there is not a whole lot of suspense or lurking danger that can prime the audience for the violence of the killing. If you think of other horror films, there is always a transition from the normal life of safety to the weird and scary worl...
I understand why you get right to the point with the killing of the first kid, but there is not a whole lot of suspense or lurking danger that can prime the audience for the violence of the killing. If you think of other horror films, there is always a transition from the normal life of safety to the weird and scary worl...
Top Reviewer
First of all, I'm a beginner at this and I think art is subjective. I will give my opinion but this can and will certainly vary from someone elses. My opinion doesn't mean this screenplay is bad or good in general, but reflects my view on it.
'Chain Letter' feels a bit like one of those classic horror movies with the usual clichés, but it has great potential, of that I'm sure.
The concept fits in this age and makes you think twice before d...
'Chain Letter' feels a bit like one of those classic horror movies with the usual clichés, but it has great potential, of that I'm sure.
The concept fits in this age and makes you think twice before d...
I think the idea you created is quite interesting, showing a great blend of characters and storyline, merging in one-piece. An antagonist in a horrors scene seems to be ruthless in his/her goal and that what makes it fascinating. The idea is really fabricating and yet, has its own twist and excitement occurs in one place to another. The creation of the scenes is character is somewhat relatable, cultured. The story is fascinating and it has a jour...
Disclaimer: This is my first review so I suck at formulating specific critiques as opposed to just general impressions.
Concept
I found that the concept of having a serial killer choose victims based on an email chain to be technologically relevant and yet oddly not glamorous. This concept seems to be a blend of the movies Unfriended and the Ring only using a lamer technology like chain link email. It is harder for me to be attracted to a...
Concept
I found that the concept of having a serial killer choose victims based on an email chain to be technologically relevant and yet oddly not glamorous. This concept seems to be a blend of the movies Unfriended and the Ring only using a lamer technology like chain link email. It is harder for me to be attracted to a...
Top Reviewer
This is a first 15 review, so I'll give my overall impression, and then specific notes by page that I made.
I like the concept of a serial killer who kills people for not passing along spammy chain emails. That's super fun. The small cast so far seem interconnected, which will be helpful for paying everything off later.
There are some formatting and grammatical errors throughout, so maybe run a spell check or just read through it slowly to...
I like the concept of a serial killer who kills people for not passing along spammy chain emails. That's super fun. The small cast so far seem interconnected, which will be helpful for paying everything off later.
There are some formatting and grammatical errors throughout, so maybe run a spell check or just read through it slowly to...
Top Reviewer
TITLE: CHAIN LETTER (2020)
AUTHOR: CYLE BROOKS
GENRE: HORROR
SCRIPT STRUCTURE*: REAL-TIME (The causality of whatever conflicts are thrown at the characters is presented in real time.)
LISTED AS "FULL FEATURE" BUT ONLY 16 PAGES LONG!
COMMENTS:
· OPENING: STATUS QUO – Need an EST. shot since CHAIN LINK hasn’t been introduced. Such as: INT. FILTHY SURGICAL LAB - PATIENT ON TABLE – (TIME OF DAY?)
· “BOOM” OMIT
· NEED OPTIC OF COMPUTER...
AUTHOR: CYLE BROOKS
GENRE: HORROR
SCRIPT STRUCTURE*: REAL-TIME (The causality of whatever conflicts are thrown at the characters is presented in real time.)
LISTED AS "FULL FEATURE" BUT ONLY 16 PAGES LONG!
COMMENTS:
· OPENING: STATUS QUO – Need an EST. shot since CHAIN LINK hasn’t been introduced. Such as: INT. FILTHY SURGICAL LAB - PATIENT ON TABLE – (TIME OF DAY?)
· “BOOM” OMIT
· NEED OPTIC OF COMPUTER...
This was a very solid effort. It has all the elements of an entertaining, albeit disturbing, slasher film. You know the genre very well-- this has all the tropes. A masked killer who kills in interesting ways. A devious system surrounding the killings in the form of the online chain letter. Young people wanting to party while their parents are out. The hints of sexual tension etc. So well done on all of that.
The format is also extremely...
The format is also extremely...
Top Reviewer
Okay, so I probably shouldn't have read this before bed, but I needed to know what happened! I thought the concept was extremely clever: the serial killer's name, the method of finding victims, and the "weak link" responses. My main note is to strengthen your characters' personalities a little more. I really enjoyed Chain Link and Jennifer, but the supporting characters were a bit generic. My second note would just be formatting. I'm not the best...
Top Reviewer
