Appalachian Ghosts feature

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#Thriller #Horror #Romance

LOGLINE: A forty-nine year old man from England moves into his fiancée's house in the Appalachians. His sinister plan is threatened when he encounters the ghosts of her dead relatives.


Nominee Draft #1


1 Reviews | 90 pages | 2 years ago | Draft 1
OLIVER, 49, from England, moves in with his fiancée, CYNTHIA, 30, after meeting on an online dating site. Soon after he moves into her isolated home in the Appalachian Mountains, we flashback to Cynthia's grandparents, who lived in a house on Cynthia’s property, getting murdered. As Oliver learns more about the property, another flashback shows Cynthia’s uncle’s family, who lived on the property as well, murdered. Oliver becomes suspicious about Cynthia when she refuses to let him use his laptop and can only send emails from her computer. Oliver has thoughts about being murdered by a crazy Appalachian woman. Oliver overhears a strange conversation between Cynthia and her cousin Anne that causes him to become more suspicious about Cynthia’s past.
Oliver discovers that Cynthia does not get along with her family, especially Anne and her mother, because they would always try to seduce her boyfriends. He also finds out that was what caused her to divorce her husband. One morning, Oliver enters the pitch black hallway that leads to the studio that Cynthia’s father used to practice playing his violin. While there, Oliver here’s the voices of Cynthia’s parents and has a conversation with her mother only to find out that they also lived on the property and were murdered as well leaving Cynthia as the only occupant of the property. Cynthia’s mother talks to Oliver through the computer. He learns that Cynthia’s mother used to punish Cynthia with a birch switch that Cynthia would have to make herself.
A flashback shows Cynthia’s mother whipping upstanding members of the community with a switch. The victims seem to enjoy it and participate willingly. Oliver tells Cynthia about the voices and they decide that they must be the ghosts of her parents haunting the house. Oliver receives a visit from Cynthia’s deceased uncle. Oliver sees nothing through the peephole and keeps the door closed because Cynthia told him not to open the door when she’s not home. Through the conversation, Cynthia’s uncle warns Oliver about Cynthia and the things she may have done.
Back in the pitch black hallway, Oliver has a conversation with Cynthia’s father. He tells Oliver not to blame Cynthia for the past and for what she may do in the future.
Oliver learns more about Cynthia which further increases his anxiety. Cynthia and Oliver get into a heated argument over the fact that she refuses to let him drive her car and that he feels like a prisoner. Cynthia resolves the argument and agrees to marry Oliver the next day. Soon after they get married, Oliver leaves a note for Cynthia stating that he is going back to England because he can’t handle all of the weirdness. Oliver secretly hopes that this will cause Cynthia to kill herself. When Cynthia finds out that he left, she calls her policeman friend to handcuff him and bring Oliver back to the house. When Oliver returns home expecting to see Cynthia dead he explains all of his plans and now must kill her himself.

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Here were my thoughts on your script:

1. Concept - I thought it was interesting to go for a couple moving to the mountains into a haunted house as the concept for a romantic thriller, but it can work if done right.

2. Story - The story was fairly simple, a tad of a slow burning story. However, my biggest complaint here is the ending where the two main characters almost do a role swap and for me, it doesn't work at all unfortunately.

3. S...

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