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A Cotton Moon short

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#Mystery/Suspense #Drama

A pastor's estranged son begins intercepting strange TV broadcasts from a mysterious deity, known only as The Shepherd, that inspire a novel and radical religious awakening of his own.

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Summary

2 Reviews | 20 pages | 4 years ago | Draft 2
A pastor's estranged son begins intercepting strange TV broadcasts from a mysterious deity, known only as The Shepherd, that inspire a novel and radical religious awakening of his own.

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Here were my thoughts on your script:

1. Concept - It's always interesting to me to see someone try and tackle religion/religious subject matter, especially in the sense of a non religious person becoming religious.

2. Story - The story was written well and flowed pretty smoothly. However, being raised Christian myself, the climax caught me by surprise for sure. I personally don't know whether to be happy that Deacon was saved or offended b...
Hello, dear!

Thank you for sharing your script. I had a blast reading it!

I'll start with the weaknesses, but as always, know this is my opinion and you can take or leave it. You're the writer.

Something that really irritated me was how unclear it is that Siri (V.O.) knows the girl's name (Amanda) and not Deacon before he picks her up because Amanda doesn't seem to know him... I know by the whole reading experience that he is a full-time...
The concept is a very intriguing one about a non-religious man communicating with God through his television. It's execution is also really good as it is unclear throughout the script on who the Shepherd is and what his motives are which, in turn, causes a lot of dramatic tension. Deacon is a very intriguing character. He has a definitive personality that is fully developed and is consistent throughout the script, yet he also grows. The structure...

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