In the gritty landscape of South Chicago, Edris Johnson, a troubled teenager entangled in the dangerous web of drugs and crime, experiences a life-altering journey when he encounters a mysterious Old Homeless Man preaching repentance. Edris's path to redemption is fraught with challenges, leading him to a spiritual awakening that transforms not only his life but also those around him.
Spiritual Awakening is an apt title for the story that it tells. Edris is a troubled young man too close to real trouble to not get sucked in. His journey from petty criminal to follower of Christ is told well, despite minor issues. However, I think it would be difficult to pitch the contrasting themes of the story.
Overall, this story is well-crafted, but some specific elements are done poorly and decrease the general quality. I might be wrong, but there's room for improvement. Keep what you have done adequately and fix what needs adjustments. You're halfway there!
SCORE BREAKDOWN:
A. Based on the overall elements:
Story: Good
Concept: Fair
Structure: Poor
Character development: Fair
Dialogue: Poor
From the back seat of police cruiser, a father sees his daughter taken out of the back of his car by, Ed, a man he knows from her school. The father must decide if she is better off with him or in the "system" like him. Ed must learn that raising a child isn't about finding personal redemption.
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