Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #3
Winner Draft #2
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
1 Reviews |
101 pages |
4 years ago
|
Draft 5
**********
A culmination of my own experiences and stories that I've collected in my life growing up in Southside Jamaica, Queens, and sprinkles of my favorite hood classics. This script began as an homage to one of my favorite films, Spike Lee's "Do The Right Thing", but ended up becoming a very personal cathartic experience
**********
Being that this script was written over 2 years ago, it saddens me that the term #BlackLivesMatter has to still be put out there. On the flip side, it gives me all the reason to continue writing and telling these stories
A culmination of my own experiences and stories that I've collected in my life growing up in Southside Jamaica, Queens, and sprinkles of my favorite hood classics. This script began as an homage to one of my favorite films, Spike Lee's "Do The Right Thing", but ended up becoming a very personal cathartic experience
**********
Being that this script was written over 2 years ago, it saddens me that the term #BlackLivesMatter has to still be put out there. On the flip side, it gives me all the reason to continue writing and telling these stories
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
This movie really does a good job with the social commentary sprinkled throughout the script, which is great as it adds on to the character's struggles and show what they go through. How the film changes tones throughout the movie about Trey wanting to get his job and ends with him dying really makes an impact on the viewer who watches the movie. The struggles of the protagonist and all of the other characters are done very well, making us emote...
Top Reviewer
Concept: Not good. A community haunted by drug addition, poverty or crime isn't something new to anyone. There are a few good movies that are based on the same concept, but things are a lot more intense than this. If you are going to write about a rough community, make it really rough. Otherwise it will appear like a documentation of reality and not a story meant to be a movie. Also set Trey's troubles to a higher level. He doesn't seem up aga...
I hope you won't consider this a waste of your points. I have reviewed this script before and everything I wrote here before still holds. Concept, story, dialogue, structure, actions, beginning, ending. They are good.
But now, it is definitely better.
Top Reviewer
no doubt it's a good story. it would be better to make it a bit intrigued at the beginning.
SOUTHSIDE is a gripping and powerful reflection of the continuous trials and hardships that most minorities (specifically, African-Americans) in a poverty-stricken, “projects, “ in America, both past and present, face on a daily basis. Highlighting police brutality and corruption as its central theme, while creating a realistic world that isn’t sugar-coated; Southside depicts a raw depiction of what thug-life, the life of many who live in the pr...
Top Reviewer
the concept is really strong there is a clear idea of the story and sets up is well done.
We immediately get into the story thanks to the flashback early in the story. But without the flashback, the story drags a little bit just the fact that he goes to work already takes 15 to 20 pages.
In term of the scenes, I had a hard time with the intercut, it was very confusing as it hard to focus on two locations at the same time when reading. It's t...
Top Reviewer
Alright...
What a wonderful concept you have here. Original.
I must confess. The opening got me interested but the middle of the script... Not so much. Nothing was happening. The scenes were well written except all scenes in the middle of the story has a lot of chit chat. Our protagonist is interesting but not compelling enough.
Honestly, the middle dragged a bit. Nothing interesting. The beginning pacing and the ending pacing was absolutely...
Top Reviewer
The purpose of the script, overall, is to give the audience a harsh, but heartfelt look into life in the inner city. The main issue, is the lack of plot and substance within. Instead of getting a concrete three-act story that builds in a cohesive, dramatic fashion, the audience instead is taken through vignettes, or instances of the protagonist's day, that merely end in his sudden demise.
The writer does a solid job of creating an accurate and...
Top Reviewer
