The script is really well written. The opening sequence when she is tossing toys in the trunk does a great job of showing us that she has kids, and Des looking at her backside is a spot-on setup for his flirtations.
Moving into the car I could feel the tightness of it all which added to the awkward interaction. The breathing exercise does a really great job of calming the mood and moving the scene into the next.
Okay... I gave you a fair on concept because though it is good, it is nothing to surprise me. Your writing is very good but the concept, to me, is not very interesting.
Yeah, the logline certainly got me to wanna read it in the first place. The first page of the script has a little bit of a misplaced slugline. You wrote that the scene is in the car but then a young man steps out of a house and maybe walks to the car. Now maybe the view is from t...
In the height of the pandemic, a man is stuck abroad from his family having to entertin his spoilt child via video call in a bizarre and twisted fashion.
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