Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
7 Reviews |
17 pages |
6 years ago
|
Draft 1
If Pretty Little Liars and I Know What You Did Last Summer had a baby... it would be ANONYMOUS.
ANONYMOUS takes the lives of the rich, suburban teens and turns them upside down when a murder they committed in the fall, resurfaces. How will they balance their last year of high school, romances, family drama, and covering a murder? Guess you’ll have to find out.
ANONYMOUS will keep you on your toes from start to finish EVERY EPISODE, and leave you hungry for more!
ANONYMOUS takes the lives of the rich, suburban teens and turns them upside down when a murder they committed in the fall, resurfaces. How will they balance their last year of high school, romances, family drama, and covering a murder? Guess you’ll have to find out.
ANONYMOUS will keep you on your toes from start to finish EVERY EPISODE, and leave you hungry for more!
Industry Reviews
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Peer Reviews
This isn't a short story, it's a TV script.
The story had several inconsistencies. The dialogue was too on the nose and at times just straight up cliché'd. There were too many moments where I felt like I was reading a novel based on the descriptions of unimportant colors or thoughts they were having that couldn't be conveyed on a screen.
The pacing was fair, although there felt like tons of information was missing. I like the concept but...
Top Reviewer
On the issue of concept, it is a good one but could be better.
Honestly the moment I read the first page I realised the script isn't going to be as interesting as I thought it would be.
Then the scenes. They are well written but could be better. The flashback kinda paused me on the story.
Honestly the fours teenagers weren't compelling at all. They were just sitting and chatting. Make them do something.
And their dialogue is good but coul...
Top Reviewer
I can assume by the writing that you are new to the game and probably a teenager yourself.
I’m wondering if you’ve seen the film
“I Know What You Did Last Summer” as your story line is very similar.
Upon opening the script I noticed an immediate typo which discouraged me from reading any further but I did plié through the script, it being the first one I am reading on this site.
Pliot. (Pilot)
Is this for a TV series or for a feat...
Top Reviewer
I believe your idea can be salvaged. Although no idea is truly new or original, the ones that stand out come with some noticeable originality. I would try harder with creative a more lucrative story then the typical, "burried secret resurfaces and threatens the lives of those who burried it." Your script format was impressive however, in a script, try not to be so descriptive, ie: golden door knobs, or wardrobe. That will be left up to the direc...
Top Reviewer
The screenplay is technically sound and appears to have proper syntax and grammar, to my eye, however the whole thing feels very bland.
The whole thing felt very uninspired and the whole concept has been done so many times in so many ways-- one could argue even, exactly in this way (A la, "I Know What You Did Last Summer"). With the exception of Ivy, all of the character's dialogue is basically interchangeable. They're all just basic teenagers...
Friendships are put to the test when an anonymous internet entity threatens to expose a dark secret.
This is a good pilot and a great structural start. I think you've nailed setup for a classic who-done-it with teenagers in the modern age. The one thing I would be careful of is falling into cliches. Shows with similar concepts already exist and I think you'll have to find a way to set this one apart from the others.
I think you could do this by hammering in some more character development. Yes, on the surface these are normal high school rich...
Top Reviewer
