The issues I wrote about in the inline critique sum up what's wrong with the screenplay. I would concentrate on the spelling issues and the format issues. I'm not saying it's bad, it just needs work. If you stretched out the story it would be better. It's hard to invest in a character with such a short script. I understand that you are making the most out of a few pages, but I think you can make it tighter. Honestly, it's really hard to get past...
In a rain-soaked city, Kaleb's exchange in a dark alley triggers a year-long spiral of mysterious deaths, ominous symbols, and a chilling connection to an ancient mirror, forcing Jeremy and Pearl into a shadowy world of malevolence and sacrifice.
Amidst the shadows of her troubled past, Zoey, a teenage girl haunted by her father’s untimely death and family secrets, embarks on a transformative journey to confront her pain, uncover truths, and ultimately find forgiveness and self-discovery.
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