I'll just go over my thoughts in chronological order as I read your script. (I enjoyed it by the way)
1ST PAGE
- Good character intro and description, immediately paints a clear first impression of who Darius is
- Intriguing situation to start off in, following a trail, searching for a phone… (his own maybe ?)
- (OS), Offscreen or over the shoulder? It’s just a detail but the formatting is wrong, not very clear
- The segment where Darius...
In a rain-soaked city, Kaleb's exchange in a dark alley triggers a year-long spiral of mysterious deaths, ominous symbols, and a chilling connection to an ancient mirror, forcing Jeremy and Pearl into a shadowy world of malevolence and sacrifice.
Britney’s sexually abused by her mother's boyfriend and tells John and they decide to punish Ben, but Ben dies, Britney’s now prosecuted for two murders and John can’t be found.
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