I'll just go over my thoughts in chronological order as I read your script. (I enjoyed it by the way)
1ST PAGE
- Good character intro and description, immediately paints a clear first impression of who Darius is
- Intriguing situation to start off in, following a trail, searching for a phone… (his own maybe ?)
- (OS), Offscreen or over the shoulder? It’s just a detail but the formatting is wrong, not very clear
- The segment where Darius...
a young book lover, visits their favorite library and unknowingly gives a quarter to the ferryman. The library's books soon reveal Francis's deepest fears, trapping them in a sinister labyrinth, a nightmarish maze.
A young police detective has another personality who has taken the form of his murdered twin. But what happens when this other personality wants to find his murderer?
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