Great job on the script. I could only say to take a look at the story Vince is pitching and try to story board it. It might help make clear sense for a reader, and don't be afraid to be descriptive.
There is a lot of potential here. A short is under forty pages. I would recommend using that to your advantage to flesh out the story and characters. Possibly even turn it into a feature. But, that is up to you. Good luck on future drafts in your script.
Ben comes to the Fast Lane bowling alley everyday after school, partly because he idolizes amateur bowler, Jenny "The Comet" Cornell, and partly to escape some dark past.
Manu and Krishna agrees for flatmate agreement without knowing other person’s gender. Eventually, they found each other to be perfect housemates for each other.
After receiving a potential life-defining letter, a yound woman sets to ignore the consequences of her action for one last night before facing ugly truths
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