Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
2 Reviews |
6 pages |
3 years ago
|
Draft 1
Edith is a 21 year old girl who goes to a laundromat one day, where, out of the blue, her childhood best friend Mel is there. The two reminisce about the times they had, and try to figure out why they stopped being friends.
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Peer Reviews
To start off, this is a very beautiful story. I enjoyed reading it. You have a couple of grammar mistakes. When your characters ask a question, the sentence ends with a period and not a question mark? It's an easy fix and we all do it. The first page has a bit too much description. You can cut out the first sentence about the room and the hum of the washers. You can also take out the part about Edith's music from her headphones. You can maybe...
Top Reviewer
It is well written, but I found the concept to be a little cliché and the story to be unrealistic. Two young adults have not seen each other for years, they run into each other and talk for a couple minutes, reminisce on the past, Edith refuses to divulge any information about herself until she starts crying and abruptly admits to Mel she (I assume Edith uses she/her pronouns but that is not very clear to me) had a crush on her back, and then th...
Top Reviewer
