The story of a young man who feels deflated by the people supposedly better off than himself is common and OK. The way this is written is so poor it should have never passed the first 15.
When speaking characters are first introduced, their name is in all caps. So, it should be BOY. Since you couldn't even give him a name, it should always be Boy not boy.
The way your opening VO is written, its over a blank screen?
After serving several years in prison after taking the fall for a botched bank robbery, Cain Anderson is released and has to acclimate to life in the outside world while still feeling the temptation to return to a life of crime.
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