The concept is excellent, especially as it ties in with the current state of society. Simon's struggle is intriguing, as he attempts to juggle single-fatherhood and an odd new career path at the same time. This sets the stage for an abundance of plot points and storylines the TV series can take in the future, which gives it promise in the industry. You also introduce a healthy range of side characters with different situations and circumstances t...

1 year ago | read more...

This is forty two pages of wasted energy and time to the reader. A professional script reader would not read past the first page. This being written, the story need a lot more structure and early lead character development to try and make him interesting and empathetic by reading audience to make him interesting. The introduction premise of coming to work to find your layoff notice under construction debris is not how it happens. (This from sever...

1 year ago | read more...

The concept was the most intriguing part to me. It mixes a bit of reality (job losses because of COVID) with a some humor (from engineer to porn writer) Gives me almost a Breaking Bad kind of vibe, except instead of drugs it's porn. Maybe that's just me. Haha.

The story is written out well, it's pretty easy to follow. Here are a few things I think could workshop a bit. The opening scene where Simon sees the folder on his desk and the gift card...

1 year ago | read more...