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#Drama

By Chukwuma Amobi

A man scatters his apartment looking for something important.

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Summary

2 Reviews | 7 pages | 7 years ago | Draft 1

An alcoholic scatters his apartment looking for something he needs. When he found it, it didn't end the way he expected.

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Peer Reviews

A man searches for something in his apartment. What he finds is more than he bargained for.

I think this script is pretty impactful. Your concept and story are good and the structure is great, what you're able to achieve in these few short pages is impressive. I think having the deaf character and signing instead of talking certainly adds a layer of intrigue, but you shouldn't rely on just that to bring in the originality and heartbreak.
My first suggestion would be to take the devastation feeling we (the audience) have at the end even...

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Top Reviewer

Lucy Owens

A Man Searches His Apartment While His Wife Looks On

This is a second draft of a script that I reviewed previously, so I will be commenting on the improvements, as well as things that are unique to this draft.

The premise of the script only works if the character's motivations are clear. While this draft is an improvement over the last, Jack's motivations for searching the home are still quite mysterious and don't make sense with the information that we're given--- that he's looking for evidenc...

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Brent Woodroof

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