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Summary
1 Reviews |
8 pages |
4 years ago
|
Draft 1
Ryan spends an evening with her close friend Zoe for the first since she has returned home from living out of state. Ryan appears unable to connect with Zoe in the same way that she used to be able to, leading to their conversations turning awkward, even sour. After a long talk in the car, Zoe drops Ryan off at her house.
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I read through the story first with a blind eye not paying attention to anything but what was on the page and it was difficult to understand at first. I feel that the opening scene needed more detail and scene heading and action so we can know where we are at and what’s happening instead of just stating with dialogue.
There was a lack of description of the characters when we first meet them. I would like to know what they looked like and get a...
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