Writer, awesome concept. Really great short with a great twist. That being said, the twist is pretty easy to spot early on in the story.
I had difficulty with the dialog. Mary seemed to speak with an older voice than her character was meant to be. She is introduced as 40 but some of her dialog comes off as elderly.
Additionally, there were more than several spelling errors. Please proofread your material before posting it for review. I found...
A senior in highschool finds herself struggling with the demons in her head ultimately trying to refuse possibly the best offer in her life. Soon enough, she finds that those demons end up helping her. Quite literally.
Get up-to-date in industry knowledge, Scripts of the Month and more. By subscribing to our newsletter, you'll never miss the best stuff we have to offer.