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Cheese Toddler

short
By Alexander Martin
Drama,Comedy

A young man struggles to make a positive impact when tragedy befalls his family during a time that would otherwise be joyous.

Approved
Nominee
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 27%
Industry Rating: N/A
3 Reviews | 13 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1

Summary

When Alex realizes that the father of his cousin Jonathon has passed in his sleep the night before Jonathon's wedding he wants to say something meaningful to Jonathon and his family. Serendipitously Alex hears something that helps him come up with the meaningful thing he will say. Alex then struggles to find the right time and place to tell Jonathon in the middle of Jonathon's wedding day.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

The script was terrible, it was just meh. The writer had wonderful intentions, no doubt. However, the script could use a little work. I know that its listed as a short screenplay. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

However, I think could potentially become a feature film. Sometimes shorts end up becoming feature films. The very first "SAW" is a prime example of a short film ending up becoming a huge franchise.

The structure of the...

1 year ago | read more...
Hunter Huiet Top Reviewer
First thing - this is a spec script and you're not the director, so you need to remove all the ECU's and Zooms... not your job as the writer.

second you only capitalize a character on their FIRST intro, not over and over again.

p1. What is "average" height? if it's not relevant, don't put it in the description.

"Obviously struck with..." this is a thought and thus prose, and can't be filmed.

the only way for us to know that Kay is...

1 year ago | read more...
vince caruso Top Reviewer
Cheese Toddler. What does it mean? Nobody knows except for our protagonist, and even he doesn't have a clear answer. This script has a very short but also somewhat heartwarming premise. I like the idea of a story told mainly in the form of montages, which essentially makes it more of an extended music video with dialogue peppered throughout as opposed to a motion picture in its own right, but that does not necessarily detract from the quality of...

1 year ago | read more...
Stefano Pavone Top Reviewer

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