Wow, this story has the bones of a prime time series. Even though some may see the story as derivative; 'Once Upon A Time', it is this readers opinion that with the marketability and writers unique voice on this story, that there is truly a chance to make this a reality. That being said i have many critiques and hope they only further your story and your personal style. Most of your 'mistakes', were commonly repeated. Showing not a lack of skill...
When twin girls are accused of murder, child psychologist Brent May joins a covert FBI Task Force comprised of Criminal Profilers and paranormally-gifted children to hunt down a violent kidnapper.
When a man loses everything in an unfortunte turn of events, he struggles to regain his life while being homeless until an old friend gives him a lifeline into perusing a career in professional boxing.
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