Finding Milana - Draft 2
How Far Will a Father Go For His Daughter's Soul?
Grief-stricken from the loss of his daughter Milana, Doug takes his own life and finds himself stuck in purgatory. With the help of a life-sized version of his daughter's favorite UglyDoll, Doug travels through all realms of the afterlife in search of his daughter's soul.
Recommend removing "MATCH CUT TO:" you can leave out these types of transitions unless you want to emphasize a specific way to shift to a different scene to move the story forward. Other...
It's high concept enough to draw you in.
- Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader?
Since this is a short and only 13 pages I'll say that the first 2 pages set the stage for things to come. My only critique comes from a bulky action line that opened up the script -- it felt a little boring, but was robust with necessary info.
- Are scenes well-written?
For the most part it was well written. Ag...