Hammer Hero (Third Draft)
When the chosen champion of humanity mouths off to the Goddess, he's replaced by his unqualified and underprepared step-brother.
Five champions were selected to serve the goddess and fight the monsters known as the blight. Bernard has never held a weapon in his entire life, yet somehow he's found himself on the front lines of combat, just struggling to stay alive.
I think the strongest parts of this script was it’s concept as well as the cast of characters you’ve assembled. I think the idea here is really interesting and has lots of potential and you’ve got a great cast of personalities and characters.
Firstly, I think you should spend some more time refining the formatting of the scri...
There really isn't anything here that's incredibly different. This episode set up the traditional heroes' journey with the call to action for the hero of humble origins. I guess, the type of civilization is kind of new but the blight are just another generic alien/monster species that the hero must fight, I believe the term "the blight" has been used several types before.
The story is actually kind of interesting. The story...
My biggest complaint is that I want more. To be an hour TV episode, you’ll need around 44 pages, usually broken into a teaser act, three or four regular acts and a coda act. The teaser and coda are both short. Look at On Our Merry to see how this is done....