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Hammer Hero (Third Draft)

television
By JONATHAN BARBOUR
Animation,Action/Adventure,Comedy

When the chosen champion of humanity mouths off to the Goddess, he's replaced by his unqualified and underprepared step-brother.

Approved
Nominee
Draft #2
Winner
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 87%
Industry Rating: N/A
Draft 3: 87%
Draft 2: 60%
Draft 1: 64%

Summary

Five champions were selected to serve the goddess and fight the monsters known as the blight. Bernard has never held a weapon in his entire life, yet somehow he's found himself on the front lines of combat, just struggling to stay alive.

Industry Reviews

HAMMER HAND was a very enjoyable, quick, and funny read. You’ve got the imagination and humor to create great stories, but you need to learn some of the craft skills of storytelling – what a story is and how to execute it well. Fortunately, that craft can all be learned – while originality and humor can't.

3 months ago | read more...
Blaise Hesselgren Top Reviewer

Peer Reviews

We've all watched superhero movies. Most of them having one person having to save the world and most of them are too similar to be called original. Yours, however, is something else. Easy to follow, great characters, in the sense that they have their original traits, the build up from one moment to another is greatly done. The good thing is that you have 5 champions each of which could give him own storyline in every episode which will make it fa...

3 months ago | read more...
Hey Jonathan, I think you recently reviewed the script I wrote called Rooted – I really appreciated your feedback.

I think the strongest parts of this script was it’s concept as well as the cast of characters you’ve assembled. I think the idea here is really interesting and has lots of potential and you’ve got a great cast of personalities and characters.

Firstly, I think you should spend some more time refining the formatting of the scri...

4 months ago | read more...
Andrew Dee Top Reviewer
Concept:
There really isn't anything here that's incredibly different. This episode set up the traditional heroes' journey with the call to action for the hero of humble origins. I guess, the type of civilization is kind of new but the blight are just another generic alien/monster species that the hero must fight, I believe the term "the blight" has been used several types before.

Story:
The story is actually kind of interesting. The story...

4 months ago | read more...
I would definitely watch this show. Gods and Titans in a modern context. You’ll probably get comparisons to American Gods, but yours isn’t really like it at all except perhaps for the tone.

My biggest complaint is that I want more. To be an hour TV episode, you’ll need around 44 pages, usually broken into a teaser act, three or four regular acts and a coda act. The teaser and coda are both short. Look at On Our Merry to see how this is done....

4 months ago | read more...
Matt Gorman Top Reviewer

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