Wanna See

Hit Like a Girl

By Kelly Smith

A female martial arts instructor takes on a suicidal teenager as a student.

Draft #7
Peer Rating: 64%
Industry Rating: 53%
Draft 7: 64%
Draft 6: 40%
4 Reviews | 23 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 7


This is one of a series of shorts about this character. Jane Killian is a martial artist, a mother, and a women's self-defense instructor. She loves her son and her students, she passionately dislikes shoes and bullies. She will go barefoot whenever she gets the chance, she will throw a punch when she feels she has to. In this short, she takes on a suicidal 19-year-old named Mary as a student, whose secret past will come back to haunt them in later episodes. The goal here is to create a female hero who is strong, decent, human, fallible, caring, good-natured, and gets to totally kick butt when the situation requires it.

Industry Reviews

HIT LIKE A GIRL was a great read after I got over the confusion of the first few pages and understood what the story was about. Jane is a fantastic central character but to really do her justice if you are going to hold her up as a paragon of virtue, then you need to test that virtue and ensure it is as virtuous as you claim. Then you’ll convince the audience she is someone in to emulate and learn from and convince them of her argument and the me...

1 year ago |
Blaise Hesselgren Top Reviewer

Peer Reviews

Great story! Legitimately would want to continue reading the next episode. Here are a few of my notes.

I like how the reason Jane started martial arts was because she hated wearing shoes. Cute and original as far as I'm aware.

I think Jane is a really well-written character. she's strong and confident, but compassionate. I also think her shoe quirk helps her stand out from other female protagonists.

On pages 13 and 14, I think you sho...

1 year ago |
Jonathan Barbour Top Reviewer
It is clear you've spent a lot of time working on this. I think you did a great job in character development and everyone fits perfectly their role. We have a victim, someone who's a threat and someone who is here to help. So everything is here. Maybe the dialogue in the hospital could've been just a little bit longer in the sense of that it seems to me quite unusual that a suicidal girl agreed to a deal so easy and Jane didn't have to insist mo...

1 year ago |
This was a solid read, one that is bursting with potential. A couple of tweaks and revisions and I think you'll have something really hot on your hands.

2 months ago |
Here were my thoughts on your script:

1. Concept - I read a story about a year ago or so that had almost the exact same concept as this story, aside from Mary being the only real difference.

2. Story - Also being much like the story I read a while back, a trainer who hated shoes and is all about helping others (and more subtly, female empowerment from what I got) but near halfway the rest of the story I knew exactly what would happen. Maybe...

1 year ago |
Cyle Brooks Top Reviewer

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