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Hit Like a Girl

short
By Kelly Smith
Drama,Action/Adventure

A female martial arts instructor takes on a suicidal teenager as a student.

Approved
Winner
Draft #7
Peer Rating: 80%
Industry Rating: N/A
Draft 7: 80%
Draft 6: 40%
2 Reviews | 23 pages | 3 weeks ago | Draft 7

Summary

This is one of a series of shorts about this character. Jane Killian is a martial artist, a mother, and a women's self-defense instructor. She loves her son and her students, she passionately dislikes shoes and bullies. She will go barefoot whenever she gets the chance, she will throw a punch when she feels she has to. In this short, she takes on a suicidal 19-year-old named Mary as a student, whose secret past will come back to haunt them in later episodes. The goal here is to create a female hero who is strong, decent, human, fallible, caring, good-natured, and gets to totally kick butt when the situation requires it.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

Great story! Legitimately would want to continue reading the next episode. Here are a few of my notes.

I like how the reason Jane started martial arts was because she hated wearing shoes. Cute and original as far as I'm aware.

I think Jane is a really well-written character. she's strong and confident, but compassionate. I also think her shoe quirk helps her stand out from other female protagonists.

On pages 13 and 14, I think you sho...

3 weeks ago | read more...
JONATHAN BARBOUR Top Reviewer
It is clear you've spent a lot of time working on this. I think you did a great job in character development and everyone fits perfectly their role. We have a victim, someone who's a threat and someone who is here to help. So everything is here. Maybe the dialogue in the hospital could've been just a little bit longer in the sense of that it seems to me quite unusual that a suicidal girl agreed to a deal so easy and Jane didn't have to insist mo...

5 days ago | read more...
Here were my thoughts on your script:

1. Concept - I read a story about a year ago or so that had almost the exact same concept as this story, aside from Mary being the only real difference.

2. Story - Also being much like the story I read a while back, a trainer who hated shoes and is all about helping others (and more subtly, female empowerment from what I got) but near halfway the rest of the story I knew exactly what would happen. Maybe...

4 weeks ago | read more...
Cyle Brooks Top Reviewer

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