Wanna See

Malled to Death

By Claire B

Minimum wage employees at a failing mall try to keep up with a crazy manager, power hungry security guard, and all the strange customers in-between.

Draft #1
Peer Rating: N/A
Industry Rating: 60%
Draft 2: 53%
Draft 1: 67%
1 Reviews | 35 pages | 3 weeks ago | Draft 4


After Amanda is caught in a lawsuit, she secretly plans a string of pranks under the nose of newly installed security cameras.

Industry Reviews

MALLED TO DEATH was a fun read with great humor and dialogue, and interesting and unique characters though some had elements that were a little derivative.

What needs thinking about is the setup and precinct. Is this primarily about The Frozen Pebble and Amanda trying to keep her shop alive or about the mall and Myrtle trying to control all the workers there? For me, using both does mean the concept feels a little confused and busy.


2 weeks ago |

Peer Reviews

The title is very clever. So this is a half-hour sitcom along the lines of Superstore? I assume the vending machine is going to be a running gag!

You’re still a little short. For a half hour of television, you need about 23 pages minimum. Your cold open act is perfect length, though. Your third act is only six pages, so maybe longer there.

It would help to utilize other types of sluglines to indicate visual elements: ESTABLISHING to show wh...

1 month ago |
Matt Gorman Top Reviewer
Here were my thoughts on your script:

1. Concept - I absolutely love that you went with this concept of a struggling manager trying to get through a crazy day and then getting called in to deal with more craziness. It's definitely realistic.

2. Story - Just like the concept, it's very relatable and realistically played out, all while also being over the top and hitting the comedy right on the spot. The story was very funny and enjoyable and...

1 month ago |
Cyle Brooks Top Reviewer
When first reading the script as a live-action, I found it to be a bit boring. A few pages in, I decided to view it as an adult animation and thought it added a bit more wonder to the show while also giving it more potential. The concept is simplistic and straight forward which is cool cause you can get into the show right away. Overall, I think this actually has some legs to it, and if you consider my animation suggestion you could make it a bit...

1 month ago |

Recommended for You

Sixth graders on a field trip accidentally become the crew of the Disco, Very!, a submarine set to explore the Bermuda Triangle.
A kid's cartoon about a sardonic bear living in a crazy world
Miss Essential
Stacy, a fifteen year old sophomore, returns to high school during the coronavirus outbreak. Stacy, her friends, and family must find ways to cope with the new way of life while helping others overcome their fears and phobias, while dealing with their own.