The Beauty of the Defeated short
#Drama
By
Kyle
Switzer
An obese security guard who dreams of becoming a cop has a life changing altercation with an overweight gangster wannabe teenager.
Awards
Approved
Summary
0 Reviews |
17 pages |
5 years ago
|
Draft 1
Hi screenwriters!
I would love to get your feedback! Been working on this baby for far too long...
Here are some questions!
1) Is it clear why the protagonists goal is important to him?
2) It is clear what the consequences are if he fails?
3) Do these consequences feel deeply important to him?
4) Do you believe his motivation throughout the story?
5) Does the Dialogue and action feel authentic or forced?
6) Does this feel like a story worth telling?
7) Any general notes?
I can't thank this community enough... seriously. The feedback on here is vital to everyone!
Thanks!
I would love to get your feedback! Been working on this baby for far too long...
Here are some questions!
1) Is it clear why the protagonists goal is important to him?
2) It is clear what the consequences are if he fails?
3) Do these consequences feel deeply important to him?
4) Do you believe his motivation throughout the story?
5) Does the Dialogue and action feel authentic or forced?
6) Does this feel like a story worth telling?
7) Any general notes?
I can't thank this community enough... seriously. The feedback on here is vital to everyone!
Thanks!
