Start: good, easy to follow up - clear idea of the role of the main character, her position in society.
Script structure: great to follow, plot twist with good ending. Make sure you stick with the script structure, sometimes it is a little too narrative. You should only write what we see/hear - not the characters thoughts. 'Our heroine' no need to put that. ' 'Surpassingly she is more calm' - > no need to say 'surprisingly'
pig stare like...
Having a night we've all had, Anthony strugglings to get his thoughts onto the page but as the night progresses he realizes that the story isn't the only thing inside him that needs to get out.
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