Wanna See
1

LoopHole

short
By ethan hunt
Comedy,Mystery/Suspense

Someone chases protagnist,but doesn't know why.

Approved
Peer Rating: 27%
Industry Rating: N/A
1 Reviews | 4 pages | 11 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

Someone chases protagnist,but doesn't know why.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

It reads like that one part in Pulp Fiction when Vincent opens the suitcase. It reads as though the McGuffin is more important than telling the audience a story. What is the goal? I understand what you are going for but it feels as though the ending needs to be stronger.

Check your formatting.
Leo tells us in a voice over and via dialogue that he’s been running for seven hours. That seems redundant. Why not extend some of the scene and actu...

9 months ago | read more...
Teigh Reed Top Reviewer

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