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The Motionless (Unfinished) feature

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#Horror

By Gene McCallister

What can't move but seems to be everywhere?

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1 Reviews | 26 pages | 5 years ago | Draft 1
#horror #paranormal #Suspense #Supernatural #ghost #unifinished
Nancy Whitman and her family move into a new home to care for Walter Evans, a vegetated former priest. Shortly after a dark presence reveals itself, and not all is as it may seem..

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A man and his family move to a newhouse, w here his wife is hired as a caretaker for a catatonic priest who may be possessed.
This is actually quite good, especially for a first attempt at a script (it's an unfinished work in progress). The writing of course can be tighter and there's some formatting issues here and there that I mention in my notes. Some of the dialogue feels forced only serving as exposition to relay information to the audience -- them talking about why they have to move as they're on their way to their new home, for instance. This would've been discus...
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