The concept of this script I really like because it's the kind of thing I like watching. This is partly because I can relate to these kinds of things, but also the characters are real and I sensed that realness when reading this script.
12 pages to me feels TOO short for this short (ironic), it's not until page 8 when things get spicy and by that time it has finished. Something that I had in the back of my mind was, what if whilst Michael is driving he is pulled over by police and is asked for a licence but he hasn't got any and due to John being under the influence means they are escorted to the station, this give a chance for Michael's character to develop, I see at the end he is on John's side saying everything was fine when it wasn't, so from the station what if he rings his mum but keeps it under wraps that John got done?
I do feel with this topic and the things you've introduced such as these pill bottles there is a lot of room to explore these areas, Michael could question what the pill bottle is for and John could get a bit aggressive with him. I was intrigued to learn what the pill bottles were for but I didn't get the answers, I see it does a dramatic effect on his health, but what is he consuming?
I do like the characters and by reading the dialogue i can feel that realness that I like to see in these dramas, one thing I did find a bit iffy was the mother's dialogue to Michael saying 'I love you, dude.' Now my mum has called me dude before but I don't think any mother would say I love you, dude, that's something you'd say to your friends, she should say 'I love you, Michael.' That's more motherly.
I know this might be stereotypical so if you dont take it on board then fair enough, but with Michael being 14 years old I feel he'd be a little annoyed with his mother going on about 'being safe' and 'give me a call' you'd expect a teen to be like 'ok, god mom, I get it' and when she goes in for a hug he could feel a little embarrassed even if it is only in front of his dad.
All in all it is a strong start and I would be open to reading future drafts because I do see potential in this.
