Overall, if you do one more proofread, listen to it through readthrough.com (for hearing scripts in character voices - it's free!), then I'd recommend submitting to Blacklist or similar. I know the ending is controversial, but the whole film is a snippet into a woman's life. I may not personally agree with her adult action to a teenager online, but actions and decisions make sense to her. Touching on how she deals with [spoiler alert] the Eagle, and her vomiting, was great. It was a real life. I hope you win many awards, and this gets made into a movie. PROS: *An intriguing set-up starts the story. Relatable. *Genre: Slice of Life *Format: correct *Felt it takes place in my city and is happening to a person right now in August 2022. *Not too many characters introduced, which allows us to learn about Harper and Harlan's personalities and dynamic. *Intrigued by the laptop and phone websites and videos. * Good dialogue. *Good descriptions. CONS: *A lot of 'is' and 'are' in action blocks. *Harlon has a bit of On-The-Nose dialogue. Suggestions: Comment #1: All sounds should be capitalized. Also, capitalize VERY IMPORTANT words that if the reader didn’t catch, will miss something important in making sense of what’s happening. Comment #2: Capitalize first time character is introduced. First time a main character is introduced, it should show gender, age, significant traits. Why: So the reader can get a more accurate visual image of who this person is. Comment #3: ‘is’ and ‘are’ is Passive Voice – Sentences should be replaced with Active Voice (verbs) and preferably in Present Tense

The formatting and pacing is well done. There are a couple of details that can be easily fixed. For example, "spanish" is with a capital S. Watch for passive wording. "is wailing" needs to be "wails", "He starts crying" needs to be "He cries.", "is screaming," to "screams". There are minor spelling errors that can be easily taken care of, "Actiavting". Overall, I liked the story and pacing. It really drew me into your film. the mystery of the blue pills, the hierarchy of women. I was curious about why their fleet is so spread out if there is a legion of men left in the world- then who are they in conflicts with? Other women ruled nations? WHen Avery nabbed Lavender it was a great twist as you did a good job on misdirection. I viewed Avery as working for theQueen, until that point of the film. Krista's death was shocking and gut-punched. Well done! The dialogue pacing meandered a bit when Lavendar witnesses Krista's death and the group speaks about what's next. The flashback of the sexual assault of the Teen girl by a man came out of the left field. Is this the queen when she was younger? Who had the flashback, Constance? If so, link the action of her staring unfocused out the window and the memory flash. It will give context to the queen's tears. Four women to take down the regime without support is a tough feat, but the action sequences were nice and tight. I had a thought similar to "Equilibrium" (2002) movie. I love the fact that a great portion of your script passes the Bechdel-Wallace Test. Empowering and providing the wonderful female representation. The romantic scene with Lavender and Krista on the roof and led to the following morning was tasteful and gave me (a male) no inappropriate erotic thoughts other than two human beings loving one another in a relationship. I was curious to want to know how did they meet? What's the back story of a Duchess and a barkeep? When Lance mentions Constance's infertility it took me out of the movie for a moment. Why is it when men speak of women and whether they are a mother to a child it comes down to her womb? Maybe you can redirect that part by saying he knows for a fact she's not the birth mother and go with that string of thought. Lavender's repititive "normal, happy life" is either her quirk or overdone. The build-up to the final act was good. Mindful that the queen is a badass needs more context. How does a biochem genius such as Constance become a formidable warrior? The sacrifice at the end was good.

Verify all your format spacing and tab spacing. Scene heading #1 was indented. Also, when doing a heading (also known as slugline), keep it as generalized as possible. No need say which room in the slugline. That tidbit of information goes into the action/description bloc. Furthermore, NEVER repeat what is in your scene heading in the action block; the exception is to have the reader focus on something critical for the plot/story. I recall reading one of your earlier drafts. You’ve improved the pacing. A bit of house-cleaning on formatting and avoid the passive tense voice. An example is “is wearing” which can be written as “wears”. Relook at your sentence tab spacing. “PARAMEDIC 2 Samir 25 years. He’s conscious and responsive but took a” was indented way too far. A final note, SHOW don’t TELL. There are spots where you tell the reader, not the viewing audience who doesn’t read the script, “opposition president”. How in Sahar’s actions can we determine this fallen leader is her enemy? This is a decent concept for a short film.