Blaise is a script analyst and reader for Shorescripts.com, as well as consulting privately with clients including writers, directors, producers, and actors. He also read scripts for a production company in London, TheFyzz.com. He’s also an optioned and commissioned writer currently working on two shorts with two different directors.
The current script has a good premise and a decent story which is executed very well on the page. But it does essentially need more. More plot, more character and more stroy. The way to achieve that is to deepen the characters by giving them more of a backstory and examining the internal arcs.