Daymian Mejia

Daymian M.

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After discovering her inner psychic power. Shelby seeks revenge on her high school enemies while forfeiting her self-control.
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DaymianMejia
Daymian Mejia 4 years ago

completed a review for

James Bond 007-Long Love Lost short
Genre: Action/Adventure,Mystery/Suspense,Drama
Rating: 47%
The content of the story was well-rounded. Yet, there were moments that it was difficult to envision what was truly happening. Due to the lack of action lines throughout the script. Reading over a page of just dialogue left me wondering where can things be shown rather than explained to me. I have no concept of how distressed or relaxed Bond is. The screenplay relied heavily on dialogue being its passage to success. Although this may work well for Bond films, the screenplay started off by throwing the audience right into the world while also managing to leave me puzzled as the screenplay ended. There are moments where you could further explain the scene with actions. In addition to the lack of action lines. The headers work well as the place the characters in space. But, the description of the space is very minimal, at times there is none. This again left me wanting more but not because I was invested in the story. More so because I was very confused. To take a deeper analysis at one scene. On page 3, we are giving a chunk of dialogue with no action lines at all. With M says turn off the TV, does bond do it? I can only assume that he does. But, this is the world that is being created for me to inhibit therefore my assumptions are not what creates the world. It is the writing and fine detail. When Bond needs to get a drink. Does he have an entire bar of drinks at the ready? Or is it pouring out a pathetic shot of his last drop of Vodka? Again, as the reader, I can assume one or the other. But, this gives someone who should have power (the reader) over the direction of your script. It allows me as the reader to say, "Bond is filthy rich and he has a bartender at the ready to pour up his finest of Whiskey." Although this is such a minor detail. It allows the audience to create a better sense of Bond and his current situation. WIth a well-formatted script being based on something that is already in existence. I do think it is still important to describe things to the audience that we may not understand. Of course as the reader and a sense of popular culture. I know what Bond is like. Yet, for some reason, I am still at a loss for even the smallest of details. Things that you withhold to be explained through the dialogue could be told through the actions. A character could instead perform their confusion or their distress rather than saying it. However, these changes are very small in themselves and with these changes made. I believe that the script could flow smoother and provide the audience with information quicker without leaving them baffled. A well-rounded script it is and only a few tweaks throughout it can help it transcend.

DaymianMejia
Daymian Mejia 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Meat The Family short
Genre: Action/Adventure,Comedy,Horror
Have you ever wanted to know what's out there? This will tell you.

DaymianMejia
Daymian Mejia 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

James Bond 007-Long Love Lost short
Genre: Action/Adventure,Mystery/Suspense,Drama
Bond has a wild adventure ahead of him with his arch nemesis Blofeld.

DaymianMejia
Daymian Mejia 4 years ago

uploaded a script.

The Chorus short
Genre: Drama,Thriller
After discovering her inner psychic power. Shelby seeks revenge on her high school enemies while forfeiting her self-control.

DaymianMejia
Daymian Mejia 4 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!