ScriptMother

Script Mother

Super Imposer
Favorite Genres:
Horror
Drama

ScriptMother is an online screenwriting network for members to engage with a community of fellow writers and receive valuable reviews for their work. Individuals writing screenplays, novels, TV series, short films, and more can share their work with other writers to receive feedback on how to better the writing and enhance the idea. Connect with individuals in the industry and have your work presented to valuable connections. ScriptMother is constantly engaging with community members to ensure that the site is easy to use and provides a valuable resource for screenwriters and authors. It's free to set up a screenwriter account and begin reviewing other scripts while posting your own.


Reviewer Rating:
Scripts: 0
Reviews: 25

Recent Activity

Script Mother completed a review for
1 month ago
Script Mother just claimed a review for a script.
1 month ago
Dollars of the damned short
Genre: Animation,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
Logline: A plucky reporter pursues a wanted hitman for the reward but accidentally traps them both in a mansion when she unleashes otherworldly horrors.
Script Mother just claimed a review for a script.
2 months ago
Super Lame (Episode 1) short
Genre: Comedy,Action/Adventure
Logline: A pair of news reporters travel the country interviewing superheroes with powers that are less of a blessing and more of a curse.
Script Mother completed a review for
3 months ago
Tooth short
Genre: Animation,Action/Adventure,Family
Review Rating:

First off, this is a very original and creative story. Historically speaking, animated film, especially 3D animation, has been a vehicle for providing stories about inanimate objects that come to life (i.e. Toy Story, Cars, etc.). This script definitely fits into that category, and I can see audiences being thrilled and delighted by a story that takes place entirely inside a person's mouth. Because the concept is so unique and original, the theme of the story and its characters need to rise to the occasion and become as good as the concept itself. On the surface, your story is about the harrowing experience of a tooth and its fears of falling out. In screenwriting, we call this the "premise". Every script has a premise, and it is usually described as an open-ended questions. For example, the movie Robocop's premise is: "What would happen is a cop was murdered and came back to life? to avenge his death?" The premise of your script could be something like this: "What would happen if teeth could come to life and had to deal with the inevitable horror of falling out?" But there's a deeper meaning to your story, and this is called the "Controlling Idea". The controlling idea is a story's root or central idea and final meaning. Instead of describing the actual story, it describes what you're trying to say about life. This of this as a single sentence statement, describing how and why life undergoes change. Your script has a strong premise, but the controlling idea is still weak, and needs to be brought out more. From reading the script, we get the idea that the story is trying to say something about major changes in life, and how even though we believe life ends somewhere, new life begins. This is what Snaggle ultimately finds out when he witnesses his friend Chip being pull out of their mouth. One way to bring this out would be to focus less on Snaggle's dreams and more on his relationship with Chip. Somehow, you need to establish their friendship and show how close they are, and show that Snaggle, despite being a tooth, has led a very meaningful existence with his tooth friends. This will compel your audience to relate to Snaggle and his conflicting feelings. The other issue with your script is that your action descriptions sometimes tell us, rather than show us the visuals of what's going on. For instance on page 3: "Snaggle‘s worrying is causing stress. Chip offers reassurance, but Snaggle‘s convinced it’s more than nothing. He‘s panicky, scared". With screenwriting, one of the major rules is that you cannot tell your audience what's going on. You always have to SHOW them. This is trickier than it would seem, because for example, instead of telling us that" Chip offers reassurance", you have to create a scene out of it, or at least give Chip some dialogue to show him giving reassurance. When writing your action descriptions, always think in terms of writing a scene. A scene is like a mini experience within the story, that has its own dynamic. So within your scene, the characters emotions should go up and down, and arrive at a place where the next scene can pick off of. Hope this helps, and let us know if you need any more feedback!

Script Mother just claimed a review for a script.
3 months ago
Tooth short
Genre: Animation,Action/Adventure,Family
Logline: What happens when a tooth doesn’t want to fall out?
Script Mother completed a review for
6 months ago
Script Mother completed a review for
6 months ago
Brother Margaret feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Thriller
Review Rating:

Well-written dialogue and quick-paced action persist throughout the entirety of this script which revolves around mayhem, fueled by a protagonist who is filled with conviction and vengeance. The story is also filled with light comic relief and the writer manages to weave it into the violent action scenes in a very appropriate way. The characters are diverse, and have their own backstory, which gives us more than just the protagonist to care about. These are some of the strongest points of the script, and makes for a very strong consideration for production or competition. However, there are some issues in character development and the story's overall foundation that should be addressed. This issue arises due to a lack of purpose provided for the characters in the very beginning. As the plot progresses, we eventually see the motivations of the characters and their goals. However, for the first half of the script, these things aren't so clear. Catherine is a good example. Her entry into the script is vague, and there's little foundation for the audience to accept her as a pivotal character that deserves our concern. Daniel and Riley's purpose seem a little more clear, as we are aware of the dichotomy between Daniel's eagerness to help Brother Margaret defeat the vampires, and Riley's stubborn skepticism. However, there could be more of an introduction and a development of these characters throughout the scenes. Right now, the dialogue between the thrilling action scenes are used as simple exposition of these characters. But more can be done in the beginning to give us an insight into who they are and how they arrived at the mall, where the entire script takes place. Another issue to consider is the redundancy of the action scenes. While they are entertaining, they can be a bit repetitive, with thralls appearing and being killed each time, or one character having a near-death encounter with a thrall, then suddenly they are saved by another character. I would recommend incorporating a little more diversity. For example, instead of the characters simply fighting off regular thralls, the writer could incorporate a variation of this monster. Or, an encounter with these creatures in certain scenes could be used to provide an opportunity for character development.

Script Mother just claimed a review for a script.
6 months ago
On Our Merry television
Genre: Action/Adventure
Logline: A sequel Firefly episode
Script Mother just claimed a review for a script.
6 months ago
The Trip short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Logline: The hole truth
Script Mother just claimed a review for a script.
6 months ago
Brother Margaret feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Thriller
Logline: On the night of a blood moon, an undead monk comes to a shopping mall to revenge himself upon his vampiric kin.

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