Holden Dahlerbruch

Holden D.

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HoldenDahlerbruch
Holden Dahlerbruch 5 years ago

completed a review for

Identity crisis short
Genre: Drama
Rating: 73%
This is a very unique and important idea for the world we are currently living in, especially with the recent pushes for title 9 reforms. I believe that the storyline is very good. Overall, it is entertaining and will keep people entertained. I feel like you have some good visuals as well. When this gets made, it will be a struggle to find an actor/ress to play Victoria unless you want to use extensive realistic prosthetics which quickly can get expensive. That I think is the biggest issue but the rest is pretty good. There is great character development but I think we can get more out of her personality wise. We get many repeated words throughout and a character with a media background would probably have a vocabulary full of five-dollar words. I feel like (p.5) when you discuss the injection of male hormones the word "male" should be switched to "masculine." Simple changes like this in word choice can create a more significant story and more of a sense of disgust at the situation. As we both know, many parents in America would still (sadly) do something like this. It is important to be careful around this subject but also to invest. In addition, since this is a suicide note, should this have a more scripted feel in the voice overs? I mean, it is the last thing Victoria is going to ever say so, as a person in news media, she would likely want to carefully choose words to make it perfect. In addition, this is a "cruel world" suicide note which should almost be more dramatic. Finally, as a business relationship, wouldn't Samantha call Bob by his last name or be more professional in that case? It is weird to be on a first name basis. Having a more clear food chain will also help to paint the struggles Victoria goes through. On a more personal note, I have many friends who are going through/have gone through transitions. It has been an immense struggle for them. One deleted her Snapchat account because she was being bullied by people she thought were her friends before her transition. Two other friends of mine attempted suicide. There needs to be more material based on transitions in this world to make it more acceptable.
HoldenDahlerbruch
Holden Dahlerbruch 5 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Identity crisis short
Genre: Drama
After losing the only love of her life, a transgender loses all hope of finding love again and kills herself.
HoldenDahlerbruch
Holden Dahlerbruch 5 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!