An African man who wants to explore different worlds and meet diverse people.
You have your way with words to make solid descriptions and you seem to be skillful in the art of the writing itself. I fear I can't say the same about the concept. This is one of those situations where execution is slightly above concept and in the end, we know there is nothing much going on. No story. No stakes. Characters are generic. Poor concept. Or this is just an excerpt of a feature length script. That doesn't make it a short film script.
First, I have to commend the ending. It actually generated some emotion in me. You exactly knew where to stop. And your descriptions were apt and dialogue was okay overall. I had issue with the title, first and foremost. 'Save the girl' works for me along the line of a murder mystery of a girl that needs to be saved, not a mystery drama turned horror. And then, I realized maybe the girl that needed to be saved here is Megan, not the murdered girl whose ghost that later turned to become the villain, not the victim of the story. But the logic of the story is questionable. Why can't the ghost of the murdered girl just go after her killers instead of disturbing the wife of the policeman investigating her case? Or can't it just go after Sam himself and hunt his nightmares? The concept is very questionable and I don't see this making a great feature length except the whole thing is revamped. Also for a horror, I didn't feel scared actually (felt more like a thriller) and the major part that thrilled me was the ending and of course, when Megan finally went to the house. I think this needs a heavy rewrite but amidst the cracks, I can see the talent of the writer. As a writer, you are on the line that straddles between 'Pass' and 'Consider' (I know I gave a pass after some thoughts).
First, the concept was good but the execution was not done that well (does not mean you don't write well). I didn't get the sense of the title (Blind Ambition) from what I just read. I mean, he was actually at a class when the contractions of Rebecca started. He was kinda at a place he was meant to be. So, it wasn't convincing that he was more work-focused which resulted in missing an important family moment. In short, the stakes were never high and the reason behind the few stakes not entirely convincing. Also, the ending wasn't a good pay-off for me but oh well. The dialogue was good in many areas but I have suggestions for some lines just to make it more realistic. Like the line Rebecca said: "Do you mean C-section?". That just sounded like Rebecca speaking on behalf of the reader. For someone in great labour pains, she could have just said: "C-section?". I know it sounds minute but these small changes make the dialogue more realistic and less expository. Also the line by Timothy: "She is so precious". Hmm...I felt "She is so beautiful" would have just worked better, no matter how cliche it sounds. Sometimes, the simplest ideas are the most important. All the same, good effort and your use of description is apt and solid. I have to commend you on that. Your best is yet to come.
Two Nigerian graduates meander the rigors of the labour market in year 2032 as the economy gets harsher. Things get complicated when a ruthless con with an ice-cold conscience enters the picture.